Angel on the corner

So today I saw an angel standing on the corner. I am quite sure he was an angel and the other days I have seen him there I had the same exact thought. But today I teared up for some reason. Every time I see him I always honk my horn and wave like crazy to let him know that I see him and appreciate the happiness he has thrown into my day. I think what made me cry today was the fact that not everyone sees him and this made me really sad. He's been there on that corner for who really knows how long, waving and smiling and telling everyone who passes by hello. Today I watched him from a differnt angle, at a distance and it made me see another view. I was across the intersection facing him and watching him wave to everyone and I thought, "how many people really see him over there and get all mushy at the site of him like I do?" Does it make other peoples day when they see him? Do they smile as big as they can and feel like their heart is going to burst at the sight of him getting so excited just waving at the cars, or is it just me? Would I have felt the same way about him before I had Ashlyn? I think that is what REALLY hurts my heart. But that is okay, I can thank Miss Ashlyn for changing my heart, my mind, my views, my love, my desires..... basically, my everything. I love you Ashlyn! Thank you for letting me see the world through your eyes.

My hands

The story below "These hands" really had me thinking tonight. I was thinking back about how my day went today and what my hands allowed me to do. This morning I used my hands to gently wake little ones to start their day. I used my hands to pack a lunch for my oldest son for school. I am starting to think that after packing his lunch every day for the last 7 years, that it is against his religion to buy a school lunch. :) These hands let me snuggle and dress my baby girl before she went off to school. I brushed her pretty hair, put on her shoes, bundled her up before she went out in the cold. All of these things and many more, I was able to do by the use of my hands. I called my best friend who lives a gazillion miles away from me to chat for a while today...my hands allowed me to dial her number. How many times did my hands hold little hands today? Way too many to count. I used my hands to type out a prayer request for my husbands cousin who is lying in a hospital in a induced coma due to a horrible automobile accident. This afternoon, two of my babies became sick with a stomach virus and I used my hands to clean them up, hold them and cuddle them and wipe their tears. There are many more things that I am going to do with my hands tonight before I go to bed. One thing I will do before I retire for the night ~ I will clasp my hands together and thank God for the many wonderful things he has given me, and on this day I can say that I am truly thankful for the pair of hands he so graciously gave me.

These hands

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands. When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," she said in a clear strong voice.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?"

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story: "Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

"They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

"They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.

"They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

"They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

******This is MY favorite part******

"These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ."

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home.

When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.~author unknown~

Sweet Valentine

Valentine's Day 2007. Look what a difference 4 years makes! She was an itty bitty girl back then, not walking and today she is helping her mommy with the housework...LOL, don't I wish!?!

Valentines' day 4 years ago....ahhhh my sweet little girly girl!

Happy Valentine's Day!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!! So I was playing around with conversation candy making machine and made a few of my own!!

Okay so I know that I take things for granted, but I seriously try not to. For example, last night and today my 7 year old daughter was holding & lick*ing a lollipop. So who wants their kids to eat candy and enjoy it? Me, me, me! She likes lollipops but she has this thing about throwing things. She gets really aggravated when you try to hand her a lolly, she licks it once and then throws it and cries. Why does she do this??? I don't know. But last night and today she held one and even walked around for several minutes lic*king on it, & not biting it and she was actually enjoying it. So go ahead....tell my you can beat me on that one....taking things for granted!!! :)

Seems I have lost my identity :)

But it's all good. I volunteer in Mason's class sometimes once a week. Now when I come in to the class everyone says "Hi Mason's mom".

On a different note.....we were driving down the road today and out of the blue Mason asks me...."mom when I get old will my fingernail get old and I will have to pull it out?" I sometimes wonder how these funny things run through a little persons mind.

Tonight I was going up the steps and Ashlyn was coming down the steps and she let out a fake cough. She then proceeds to say "cold" and keeps fake coughing and repeating "cold" and smiling and giggling in between (little stinker). So she wants me to think she has a cold! This was funny because I can't even imagine where that came from unless there are kids in her class that are sick. No one has been sick here lately with a cold, so I am assuming she heard that at school and wanted to try and gain some sympathy out of me :) Gotta love her.

Mason was saying his prayers tonight and prayed for *Chance* to start being nice to him at school. Gee, I wonder if Mason's older brother Spenser is saying a prayer for the same thing about *Mason* tonight??? :)

Get over yourself

That is what God told me this afternoon. Well okay, maybe not in those exact words...but it is close enough. The day had been a bit crazy all day anyway. Sometimes I think I am seriously losing my mind. For instance, I have a big huge calendar in my kitchen so that I don't forget important events/dates. So this afternoon at 4:30 I am washing my hair and my doorbell rings. Not many people use my front door and ring the doorbell so it kind of threw me off there. The 2 kids in my neighborhood that ring the doorbell on a daily basis were ALREADY here. So I am thinking who in the world could that be? I send my oldest son Spenser to the door thinking it is a sales person. He comes back & says mom, Angela is at the door for you. I have no IDEA who Angela is, so I tell him to go back and tell her I am washing my hair and I can't come to the door. So off he goes and then comes back again and said she really needs to talk to you.... I tried to tell her just to call you. So I go to the door with my hair all wrapped up in a towel thinking I am going to shew (sp?) this person away. WRONG!!! I had an appointment here at our house with our new support person. I felt like a goob*er because I forgot all about it and my house looked like it had thrown up in every room. :( What is so bad? I had actually looked at my calendar today but failed to see that I had an appointment at 4:30....yeah I really have it together don't I? Sometimes I think these crazy kids of mine are secretly sucking brain cells from me in the middle of the night or something.

So on to the "get over yourself". I opened the mail right before 6 this afternoon to find a letter from our bank telling us that we had returned checks. What? How can this be? DH just told me that we were out of checks for that account so we couldn't have written any checks. WRONG...turns out that DH found a book of checks, didn't bother to tell me and wrote our bills right on out from that bank. I had no clue that he found checks so I automatically went and deposited our $ at our other bank. Oh my goodness, we had written out over $700 in bills & with my luck the other 5 checks will try to come through tonight...can you say "HUGE RETURNED CHECK FEES? So I am crying and acting like a crazy blubbering girl. When all of a sudden this peace comes over me and says, it will be okay, there are worse things that could happen. So I immediately calmed down. (that is such an awesome feeling when the Holy spirit comes over you and gives you peace).

Tonight we were having "Ruth Fellowship" at church for our ladies ministry. I really didn't want to go but I sure am glad that I did. We had such a nice meeting and I met a few new people. One dear lady at our church asked for prayer for her daughters and grandchildren. She stated that her daughters husband had left her with 4 children and no heat in the house. She also said that they just found out that her grandson has a brain tumor. Of course I am feeling awful by now and thinking how petty my situation was earlier today and that I should be very thankful that God is good. Well after the Ruth Fellowship meeting I come home to find out that DH's 24 yo cousin was in a horrible car accident and he isn't expected to live. :( He had to be airlifted to a bigger city and has already had brain surgery to remove a clot and help with the swelling. This family could really use our prayers!

Now this grandma "gets it". I think she should have submitted a story to GIFTS!!

http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/02/04/lucy_is_learning_are_the_doctors_1170436404/?p1=MEWell_Pos2

LOVE

I love being a mama...it's what I do best, I think? :) Here we have some yummy Valentine cookies, and I swear I think there is a law somewhere that says - SOMEBODY has to cry when we do our little holiday yummies. Seriously, it always ends up this way. Out of 3 kids, somebody has to get their pantie*s in a wad EVERY time. So on this day it was Ashlyn's turn. I absolutely LOVE doing the little cookies and cakes for holidays with the kids. I love it. But every holiday I set myself up....I get so stinking excited about doing this and at the end I think why? Ha! Why do I set myself up, thinking we are going to have a grand ol' time doing this...and it usually falls apart, he he! But that is okay by me...I love doing it, I hope they love doing it and if they don't, maybe one day they will learn to love it too!! (fingers crossed)