Ohhhh the things you find

in your childs poop that they managed to swallow when you weren't looking. I swear some days I think I need shock therapy on my brain. It doesn't think right anymore and some days I crack myself up at the things I thought I heard, things I thought I read, or things I thought I saw... and about 2 seconds after the crazy thing pops in my head I realize whoooaaah Nellie, good thing you looked twice!

So tonight Ashlyn is MIA for a few minutes and oohhhh my gosh what she can do in 2 minutes. I go through the house yelling, Ashlyn where are you? I get upstairs ..I don't see her in her room, Mason's or Spenser's. As I am entering my bedroom (it is dark) I see her standing in my bathroom door. There is a just a little light behind her and I see her hands are black and she is wiping them profusely with a towel. My first thought is "where did she get that black hair color from"?? What was that Traci? Black hair color? Nobody in this house uses black hair color... geeezzz. Oh my, then the smell hits me and I know exactly what the black tint is on her hands, her face and her school uniform shirt. Pooooooooooooooooooooooooop. Oh my, what cracks me up (besides the black hair color thought) is that she is trying sooo hard to get that poop off of her hands with a towel. She is on a mission let me tell ya, as she hastily wipes her hands off. Before I enter the room I am screaming " Miiiiiiiiiike huuuuuurrrrry up here". I enter the bathroom and not only is she covered in poop, but so is the bathtub, the toilet seat and the floor. One little girl should not be able to produce so much poop.... but well, she did! At first I am so mad at her, but thankfully I quickly realize that she had pooped and tried to wipe herself. I imagine that the more she wiped the worse her situation became... poor girl she did try! Mike grabs her and throws her in the tub and takes care of her, I am left on bathroom doody, I mean duty. As I am cleaning away I see something in the poop that looks like a rolled up dollar bill and I am thinking what??? where did she get a rolled up dollar bill from and how did she swallow that? Well of course with further inspection I realize that it is not a rolled up dollar bill, but it is small pieces of rolled up newspaper!! Crap! How did that happen? What really sucks (besides bathroom duty) is the fact that she has been very sneeky lately and has been caught almost every day putting bad things in her mouth again. Today I pulled a wet, soggy baby wipe from her mouth, Sunday it was a big ol' honking piece of pizza crust that she managed to swallow ~~ whole~~ let me tell ya. She was standing there gagging and honest to Pete, I gagged her and pulled out a 4 inch long piece of pizza crust. I thought there for a while that she was doing soooo good about not putting bad things in her mouth. We are going backwards again and to be honest, it DOES scare the crap outta me. I pray for protection over her and that she stops this behavior. I am constantly chasing her down to pull stuff out of her mouth. I am sure that her guardian angel has been working overtime, and I pray please Lord, let this scary, bad behavior stop. Please help her to realize that the things she puts in her mouth can harm her. I love my poopie girl sooooooo much and the thought of her being harmed scares me to no end. Please Ashy, you can have any snack you want, but lay off of the paper products and the foot long pizza crust. :(